What Is Love
Everyone needs to know he is loved, most especially your teen. He wants to know. above else, that YOU love him. And not because of anything he does but simplty because he exists.
Your child is not a mind reader. You want to tell him, "I love you!" every single day--actually, many times every single day. No one can hear that phrase too may times so long as it is genuinely spoken. Your kid will know whether or not you mean it.
To let you know, each of us has our own definition of love. Maybe for your child, love is eating the breads you baked for him--his favorite kinds. And maybe it is spending time, 1:1 right after school so he can unload the stress and sahre the excitmeent of the day.
Ask your teenager what makes him feel and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you love him. Guessing may lead you to thinking you are doing everything you possibly can for an ungrateful child who accepts what you do but feels unloved, not cared about at all.
How sad it is that this world is filled with people who are cherished but simply because they are not shown love according to thier definition of love think they must be unlovable.
What is love to you? What actions does a person need to do for you to know you are loved? Tell your partner, your family and your friends. There is no such thing as, "If they really loved me they would know." People are not mind readers. We assume what makes us feel good also makes others feel good. Not so.
Instead of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you how about doing unto others as they would do onto to you. In other words, show them love they interpret as love.
Your child is not a mind reader. You want to tell him, "I love you!" every single day--actually, many times every single day. No one can hear that phrase too may times so long as it is genuinely spoken. Your kid will know whether or not you mean it.
To let you know, each of us has our own definition of love. Maybe for your child, love is eating the breads you baked for him--his favorite kinds. And maybe it is spending time, 1:1 right after school so he can unload the stress and sahre the excitmeent of the day.
Ask your teenager what makes him feel and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you love him. Guessing may lead you to thinking you are doing everything you possibly can for an ungrateful child who accepts what you do but feels unloved, not cared about at all.
How sad it is that this world is filled with people who are cherished but simply because they are not shown love according to thier definition of love think they must be unlovable.
What is love to you? What actions does a person need to do for you to know you are loved? Tell your partner, your family and your friends. There is no such thing as, "If they really loved me they would know." People are not mind readers. We assume what makes us feel good also makes others feel good. Not so.
Instead of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you how about doing unto others as they would do onto to you. In other words, show them love they interpret as love.
posted by Ali Bierman at 1:14 PM
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