Let Kids Be Kids

This post may seem strange here. Well, consider that teenagers are chldren--though they might be rather upset if you mentioned that fact.

I raised two great kids while living in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. They had the advantages of museums, athletic and art programs of all kinds--you name it. Kids there need date books--or parents who keep date books for them. In the Washington, D.C. area there are more psychotherapists per capita than any place else. Are you wondering why?

If you happen to be sensitive to energy you can feel the frenetic energy of the space as soon as you come near the suburbs of our nation's capital. The pressure for kids to do well is superceded only by the pressure for them to do many things well! Even the sports are organzied. You cannot get together a pick-up game of soccer or baseball at the local school because organized leagues have the fields reserved for their teams’ practices and games!

I know of people who set their two-year olds in front of computers because the pre-schools will not take children unless they are computer literate. Good thing that is not a requirement for adults to get into college. And what is it about fancy prep schools that are pre-kindergarten? Some parents actually believe their kids won’t get into Harvard if they go to the “wrong” pre-school.

What ever happened to childhood? What ever happened to just plain fun? Where have all the Radio Flyers gone? (The little red wagons.) And generic swing sets for swinging higher and higher and higher or spinning tightly then unwinding really fast? Do kids today ever get a chance to just hang out and relax, free from the fear they are being graded for their performance?

Take a look at entertainment for kids. The images of the youthful stars, the rock stars who are just too young to know what they are singing about. What is the point of youth if not to enjoy it? The little kids in my neighborhood drive their little motor-driven cars and ride motorized scooters. My small town has a coffee house for teens? Actually it is a place where teens can hang out at night and be safe. Why does it have to be a coffee house? What is the rush to be grown up and do like the grown-ups do?

We spend most of our lifetime as adults. Let's support our kids in just enjoying life for the fun of it! Play is an essential ingredient to mental and physical health. In fact, play is good for kids of all ages!

Knowing Your Child

Some parents think they know their teens pretty well. I suspect some actually do. On the other hand, adolescence is a time to find oneself, to uncover and discover who one really is inside--the True Self.
Consider that we each play roles in or lives: parent, child, sibling, friend, musician, artist, athlete, scholar, etc. In each role many people seem to follow a specific script just as they do when with different people. Many people speak and act one way with one person and very differently around other people.
With all that role playing people often lose sight of who they really are.
We hear the term,
"Act as if" in the self-improvement realm. We can successfully accomplish life changes by acting as if our world is the way we want it to be until it actually is the way we want it to be. The thing is, people act as if they are a certain way for so long they seem to become who they pretend to be.
Your teen may appear to be someone who actually bears no resemblance to who they are inside. Sometimes they do not even know themselves who that person is which is why teens go through a huge identity crisis. They think they have everyone fooled while thoughts like, "If they only knew the real me..." run silently through their minds. Of course thoughts, being real measuable energy, are never limited to the mind in which they are conceived. They go forth into the Universe where they are unknowlingly picked up, read and interpreted by others.
If you get gut feelings around your teenager, especially feelings of things not feeling good, ask your child how everything is going, how they are. Let them know you care about how they really are rather than how you want them to be. Your child's well being, maybe your teenager's life, depends on trusting your gut and asking questions.

The Power of Love and Patience

Building Adolescent Self Esteem can only be accomplished when the adolescent wants to change his life. As a parent watching your child go through painful experiences can feel painful for you too.

You want to take the pain on yourself. You can't live your child's life for him. You can only live your life for you and keep loving your child.

Let your child know you are there when he needs you. Keep moving forward in your own life. At some point your teenager may notice how you handle events and ask for assistance in changing how he handles life.

Everything happens at the proper time and in its own time. Unconditional love and patience may be all you have to offer and it is enough.

Accurate Thinking

The term Accurate Thinking is popping up in more and more places these days. What is Accurate Thinking? Knowing the world just is and events simply are what happens is Accurate Thinking.

We assign meaning to events creating Stinking Thinking. Those kinds of thoughts cause us to feel hurt, sad, angry etc. Those thoughts lead to judgments about how something is and how it should be according to us.

When your child has something in his or her life that goes differently from how it was expected to go then your child has two choices. He or she can interpret the result as being good or bad OR he or she can simply recognize the event went the way the event went.
Building Adolescent Self Esteem entails gifting your child with the knowledge they control how their world flows or ripples. They alone place obstacles and they alone burst through obstacles once they see how they created them in the first place with the stories spoken in their minds.

Life comes down to the choices we make in each instance. Period.