Self Esteem And Self Image

Building Adolescent Self Esteem is so closely related to building a positive self image as to make the two inseparable. Your teen can only do what s/he sees himself capable of doing because of who s/he thinks s/he is in the world. If your child has an image of being attractive then your child is attractive. If your teen defines himself or herself as athletic then s/he is athletic. If someone tells your adolescent s/he is a talented writer and your child does not see himself or herself as a talented writer then all your child can do with such a comment is think something like, "Yeah, right. What other lies are you going to tell me." OR "IF you only knew the truth about me you wouldn't think so."
The task for you, the parent, then becomes one of valuing your child for who s/he is regardless of who s/he thinks himself or herself to be. Love your chilld no matter what. Support your child no matter what. In other words practice unconditional love. I am not saying support unhealthy behaviors. I am suggesting you look for all that is wonderful in your child. I guarantee you will see exactly what you look for. And then reinforce all the greatness you see. Do that over and over. It will become your habit and it will raise your teen's self esteem by altering his or her self image.
Self image is like a self sulfilling prophecy. You get what you expect and only what you expect. So what do you expect from your adolescent?

My world Is Different From Yours--I Think

My world is differeent from yours because I see the world differently
from the way you see the same world.
I was 16 before I learned that not everyone walks around composing
music in their head most of the time. You know, how you experience the
world is how you assume everyone else experiences the world. The thing
is we each see through a difference set of blinders and we each wear
different lenses. If I see through purple lenses and you see through
red ones then you cannot see anything red and I cannot see anything
purple. PLUS everything I do see has a purple tint while everything you
see has a red tint.
If my blinders limit my field of vision to events and experiences that
make me a victim than I can only see events and experiences that make
me a victim. Oh my gosh! How can I become aware of my blinders and
filters? I learn how my mind works and how my brain works so I can see
how I create my blinders and filters. Actually simply looking at who and
what is in your world, how you live moment to moment will tell you your filters.
Observe!
What if I do not care how my mind or brain work? Well, I simply focus
on how I want my life to look. The bottomline is the "why" does not
matter. All that maters is how I live each moment. And how I live each
moment is my choice when I have awareness of how I can create my choice
consciously instead of automatically. Fact is, either I run my life or I allow
others to run my life.
When I live on automatic and my life is not working as I want it to how
in the world can I expect anything to be different for me? Consider
that you and your teen live on automatic. what can you do to change
that way of being in the world?

Building Adolescent Self Esteem Now

Building Adolescent Self Esteem does not involve a "how-to" system as much as it involves a "wake up and live" a conscious life style. Everything that exists in the world starts a s thought. Every invention was first an idea in someone's imagination. Every action your child takes or fails to take was first something s/he thought about. Thought creates the world. Thought creates each person's individual world. What your teen think about events determines how s/he responds to events.
Imagine how differently your teenager would experience each day with the knowledge s/he has control over how s/he responds to life events. What happens happens. Interestingly, in Japan there is one word that means both crisis and opportunity. How your teen chooses to act or not act is up tp him or her. The same event is a disaster to one person and an opportunity to another. LIfe was never meant to be difficult. People, with their thoughts, make it hard or easy. How does your child see life? Let him or her know that struggle is optional.

Ask Empowering Questions

Most people go through life accepting what comes their way. They believe that life just happens. John Lennon spoke for many people with his lyric, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." Mighty disempowering thought.

What if your teen knew that s/he can create the life of his/her dreams? Your Teen's belief system can be changed if s/he wants to change it. The way to change his/her beliefs is to change his/her daily living patterns, i.e., life style.

One way to powerfully uncover hidden beliefs about himself/herself and see how s/he views the world that keeps him/her stuck in monotony is to ask questions. Health and happiness natually follow once s/he becomes the master asker in his/her life

Ready Fire Aim

Most people spend so much time lining up the shot, making sure it is perfect, worrying if they are not accurate they will miss the target--they spend so much time aiming they never actually get around to firing. What is your teenager so concerned about messing up that s/he is afraid to take action because of fear of failure? Or maybe fear of success?
Some people do not act becasue they figure when others see how completent they are they will be asked to do more and more will be expected of them all the time. Meeting the high expectations of others can be very stressful.
Do you know that airplanes fly off course more of the time than they do on course? The plane constantly adjusts systems to bring it back on course. I recall being on one flight where the wind was so strong I am certain we were flying on an angle forward (the door to the cockpit was open and I could see our direction) rather than directly forward much of the time and still we reached our destination. The important thing is take action. Make adjusments afterward. All great work is constantly being revised and updated. Let your adolescent know whatever s/he does is better than doing nothing.